Beater and Biter

A funny thing about moving to England, we had to buy new things like vacuums and microwaves. This is a tale of two such purchases.

Some of you out there may be aware of two, uh, conditions we have to deal with here at the Lilacs. First off, Boo Jones, our dog, is a bonified lemon. She has allergies that have allergies. Our dog is allergic to dust. And food. And the outdoors. But mostly dust. To control her allergies, we've tried dozens of things but one thing we know we have to do is control dust mites in our place. Her allergies lately have been flaring up.

On to the second "condition". My dear wife likes to keep the place clean. Really clean. And she has interesting notions about dirt and such that defy my own understanding of clean... but I love her, so...

Put these facts together and you have to understand that desperate measures were required. So, entered Beater: the VAX Force 3 Canister vacuum/tank (for those that read the evil blog, this is indeed the item that was opened with the flying elbow of the salesman). 1400 Watts, dual cyclone chambers, HEPA filtration. This thing is fantastic -- you attach its so called TurboTool and you'd think that a jet engine just lit up in the room next to you. I think I pulled chunks of the Lilacs foundation up through the carpet. True story!

But this wasn't enough. We have carpet here. Some old stuff, some new stuff. All dusty. And just because you've taken out the dust, you haven't necessarily taken out the dust mites and their poop. It's really the poop that you have to worry about, as is typically the case. What to do? Call in the Biter: The Kärcher SC1502 Steam Cleaner. 2300 Watts. 4 bars of pressure. 82 grams of steam output per minute. Folks, we ain't kidding around. This thing can drive high-temp steam down into the carpet -- steam so hot its almost dry -- and destroys the poop and all of its allergy-inciting evil.

These two powers combined are sure to wreak havoc on the forces of dust that have, up til now, reigned at the Lilacs. Let the battle begin, for Boo, for Rachel, for my sanity.