Merry Christmas From Boo!

Bunny Beer

We went through quite an ordeal trying to find dog food for Boo that wouldn't make her allergies worse. At one point, it was rabbit and potato-based -- which we nicknamed "bunny chow" after a vegetarian dish we had seen in South Africa. That has nothing to do with anything except the title of this blog and the weak reference to the bunnies on the new beer I tried.


This selection was picked up in a case at the Majestic Wine Warehouse and is brewed by Bath Ales (Bath is a city not too far south from here known for its Roman bath -- and high-end shopping.) These beers were all very good and each distinctive. My favorite was the "Barnstormer" -- from their website, it is "Rich in fruit with hints of chocolate, this full-bodied dark ale is a complex but deeply satisfying beer.”

Cheers!

When Butter Doesn't Cut It

We did some more food adventuring this past week. The idea with this stuff is that you make toast, slap a thick layer of goo on top, then put it under the broiler until "bubbly". Kids, if you want to make this at home: Go buy two boxes of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese. Get one small can of deviled ham. Mix the cheese packets from the Mac with a shot of water, stir. Add half the ham. Stir. Add a splash of Worcester (woostah!) sauce. Stir, stir, stir. Done.

I have another flavor of the same product line on deck. Til then!

Cheers!


Though we eat little flesh and drink no wine, Yet let's be merry; we'll have tea and toast; Custards for supper, and an endless host Of syllabubs and jellies and mince-pies, And other such ladylike luxuries - Percy Bysshe Shelley (English Poet, 1792-1822)

Waiter, There's The Hair of a Dog in My Coffee

Yet another selection from the holiday cream selection at the grocery. This time it is from Marks & Spencer -- not so much a grocery as it is a kind of gourmet food shop with lots of prepared foods. It's also a department store -- but the lower level in Hereford is the foodshop.

But about the cream. This one is pourable, sweetened cream flavoured with vanilla and Armagnac (a kind of brandy.) Unlike the tiny little zip that the previously mentioned cognac cream offered, this stuff is 11% booze.

We are flying out tomorrow so I tried using it up in my coffee this morning. I have a micro-buzz. Around lunch I will have a micro-hangover.

Cheers!

For Those Still Paid In Dollars

If you haven't been there, BootsnAll is a great site for travel information. When we were planning our Africa trip, I found most of my information via either Bootsnall or Lonely Planet's Thorn Tree.

Anyway -- Bootsnall has an interesting article for these economic times: "8 Countries That Have Suddenly Become Cheap for Americans". The one blurb that stuck out to me was Iceland. The recent collapse of the Icelandic banking system was big news over here for a couple of reasons. First, a large majority think that although the UK didn't cause the failure, they swung the death blow by freezing the assets of one of the big Icelandic banks. The UK did this by invoking an anti-terrorism law. Soon after, things got much worse in Iceland. A big reason the UK froze the assets of that bank was because of the other reason this was big news here: lots of people and businesses in the UK had their money in Iceland -- and now its all but vanished.


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But hey, when life gives you lemons, take a much cheaper trip to Iceland! Due to the crisis, there is currently no "official" exchange rate -- so the value of the dollar is a bit iffy but no doubt a lot better than it was a year ago.

Cheers!



“People are always asking me about eskimos, but there are no eskimos in Iceland” - Bjork

They Forgot The Vodka

Two new flavors of crisps! The parsnips were just ok. In general, I've found that if they put 'sweet chili' anything in something here, I don't like it that much. All sweet, no chili. Meh.

The Bloody Mary crisps weren't too bad. They were BBQ-flavor but with a pinch of extra heat and a whole lotta celery mojo. I guess powdered vodka is hard to come by -- my hopes for martini-flavored crisps are plummeting.

Cheers!

Castle #5

A few weeks ago on our way to London, we made a quick stop into Windsor Castle, one of the three royal homes of the Queen. We arrived at the end of the day and the castle would be closing before long -- we decided to take make the most of it and move quickly through. Unlike all the other castles we've seen, this one is still the home of royalty and is very well maintained as both an important place for diplomatic events and for protection of the royal family.

We actually were lucky in our timing -- the Semi-State rooms are only open during the winter months and we were able to tour them as well.

A big chunk of what we saw was actually rebuilt following a fire in 1992 -- the rebuilding cost around 37 million sterling. At today's exchange rates, that's around 55 million US dollars -- to rebuild just 9,000 square meters of royal space. Even more amazing is that the project was under-budget and didn't cost tax payers a pence. When walking through, you couldn't tell the difference between old and new -- money well spent?


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Most of the more interesting aspects of Windsor were inside and no pictures were allowed -- if you want to see the best part you'll have to come visit us. We have year-long passes just in case you decide it's worth the trip! This website here has some OK pictures of the inside but the website is sorta ugly and it really doesn't do the place justice. You should just come see it for yourselves!



Cheers!

Four From Two

Four good years, folks. Yesterday was the four year anniversary for the wife and I. Who would have thought then -- way back when it all started -- that we would end up living on a hedge-lined, country road in England, post code 123 BFE? Not me.

We took advantage of the occasion to find a new place for dinner. Whilst out driving about in the Volvo with the in-laws a few weeks back, we ambled past "The Bell at Skenfrith", a small inn and eatery with an upscale look to it. I checked the Michelin guide and found it had won the "Michelin 2007 Pub of the Year". That's an award not to be taken lightly.

Just across the border in Wales (yes, we went to another country for our anniversary dinner -- top that, Yankee), The Bell sits almost directly across the road from Skenfrith Castle -- one of The Three Castles mentioned in an early blog. The winding Monnow River flows along side the road here and a small one-lane (by my standards, not theirs!) bridge crosses the river at the Inn. The Bell maintains its own garden that is used extensively in the food -- they are currently working on obtaining organic status. The wine list was the best I have seen in a restaurant outside of London -- it was over 50 pages.


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Dinner was great from start to finish. They started by serving drinks and some amuse-bouche as soon as we arrived. The amuse-bouche were a small crostini with bit of liver pate, salt cod croquettes, and a shot glass of foamy mushroom soup. All good.

Appetizers were creative. The wife had a simple duck and duck liver terrine with onion brioche. I thought that was just ok -- the terrine was solid (strong wild flavor, though) but the brioche was very dry. Mine was the highlight of my meal. here is the full description: "Home cured lamb bresola, piquillo pepper stuffed with bulgur wheat salad, aubergine puree, green olive tapenade, rosemary oil." Yes, that's all one appetizer and it was fantastic how well each piece went with everything else. The bresola -- usually made with beef -- is a salted, air dried meat -- sorta like a prosciutto but not really. These pieces were maybe a 1/4" thick, silver-dollar size, and not overly dry. Very mild but distinct flavor. I could go on and on about the appetizer but anyway...

For mains, we shared a "talgarth beef sirloin steak with truffle scented dauphinoise potatoes, wilted kale, carrot puree, port wine sauce" and a "pan roasted loin of welsh breed pork, homemade pork scratchings, colcannon mash potato, seared black pudding, fine green beans, cider and smoked bacon cream sauce." Both were excellent. All the vegetables were just-picked fresh, and perfectly cooked. The black pudding was the best I have had here -- but it was more like a hash then a sausage. The meats were cooked just to medium-rare -- a welcome change from the well-done most restaurants serve here. The sauce on the pork was divine.

To finish, I had dessert and the wife had cheese. For cheese, you could pick three from a list. One of the picks (golden cenarth -- an organic semi-soft cow's milk cheese) was so incredibly stinky it almost ruined my dessert -- it attacked me from across the table. That was, until I tried a piece -- it tasted much better than it smelled!

My dessert pick was easy. They were offering a sampler of Christmas puddings: mini Christmas pudding, mini yule log, stollen parfait, brandy butter ice cream, and mulled wine jelly. I don't know what went into the stollen parfait: I think it was an ultra thick spiced mousse that was then wrapped like a little gift package in a thin wrapping of marzipan. Wow. The other items were good, too -- but that parfait really stood out.

Price-wise, The Bell is on the top end of prices we have seen here but worth it considering the quality of the experience. This place joins The Wellington Inn and The Stewing Pot as my three favorite restaurants in our area.

Cheers!



“To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.”
Helen Rowland (English-American writer, 1876-1950)

Strange Brew: The Very Best of Cream

I've mentioned that the cream section of the grocery here is pretty impressive. They don't fool around and the fat levels in their creams start at about where those in the US top out. Now, I've discovered that they have holiday-themed creams, too. This one is a cognac-infused (over 5% cognac -- you could get a buzz off a tub of this) double cream (48%+ fat).

I bought it out of curiosity and last night I slathered some on a brownie. It was quite a bit better than I expected. The wife wasn't impressed when the first thing out of my mouth this morning was something about how she might come home and find me and dog passed out on the floor lying next to an empty tub of cognac cream.


Cheers!

I Got All My English History From Braveheart

Next castle on our tour was Warwick Castle. This place was oft as cheesy as Mars' Cheese Castle. They have turned it into an amusement park of sorts and the goal here is as much making cash as it is preservation of history. They have 'Kingmaker', a wax museum, that follows a snapshot of medieval times as workers prepare for war. In the upper levels of one section, they had rooms restored to royal grandeur with weapons and armor on display and more wax figures in various poses. Not surprisingly, Warwick Castle is part of the Merlin Entertainment group -- the same folks behind Madame Tussaud's famous wax museums (and also Legoland and the London Dungeon.) During the summer, they have falconry and also fire a newly-built trebuchet (giant medieval war engine -- claimed to be the largest in existence) a couple times each day.

Picasa 3 does some cool things with building collages. Click to enlarge this one:


The history of Warwick has its interesting points -- the Earls that ruled here meddled in all kinds of royal affairs. You may recall in the movie Braveheart when Edward I -- Longshanks, the bad-ass English king -- grabbed his son's (Edward II) apparent lover and threw him out the window. That was a bit of a dramatization. Longshanks didn't kill the guy -- his name was Piers Gaveston -- he was later rounded up during the reign of Edward II and brought to Warwick and executed after a trial for treason. The Warwick Castle website does a good job of summarizing the history of the place.

Again, click to enlarge. This is 20 photos stitched together using Autopano Pro:


Cheers!




Listen, lad. I built this kingdom up from nothing. When I started here, all there was was swamp. Other kings said I was daft to build a castle on a swamp, but I built it all the same, just to show 'em. It sank into the swamp. So, I built a second one. That sank into the swamp. So, I built a third one. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp, but the fourth one... stayed up! And that's what you're gonna get, lad: the strongest castle in these islands. - from Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Nice Hooters!

This weekend, we went up yonder to just outside of Kington to the Small Breeds Farm and Owl Centre. We'd heard about the place before and finally decided to go see it. It was worth the trip -- owls are some fascinating birds to watch. The other animals were entertaining as well.


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They have lots of owls in enclosures and then a handful in an open area where you can touch them. Most of them were very friendly (at least, they were very indifferent) and didn't mind you touching them. One was a bit of a ham and clearly enjoyed the attention while another was quite terrified of me. I really can't blame it: it was strapped to a perch and I had a camera in its face.

Here are some pictures we took. Most were taken through fencing -- you will see the fuzzy out-of-focus fence in the foreground in many of the shots.

Cheers!





The crow wished everything was black, the owl, that every thing was white.
William Blake, English visionary Mystic, Poet, Painter and Engraver (1757-1827)

Size Does Matter

The third castle in our trip was Kenilworth Castle in Warwickshire (pronounce that worr-ick-sher), about an hour north and east of the Lilacs. Kenilworth is the largest castle ruin in all of England. It also served as a model for castle design; its defenses allowed it to survive the longest castle siege in English history -- the castle held for nearly a year against attackers. At its prime, three sides of the castle were defended by a 100 acre man-made lake. The lake prevented siege engines from getting to an effective distance and also thwarted attempts to mine under walls to weaken them.


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Funny thing, though, King Henry III built the castle up to be one of the strongest in the land and then gave it over to Simon de Montfort who later turned against Henry and held the castle against him. At one point, Henry's son, Prince Edward, was imprisoned in the castle before escaping. The tides again turned and in 1265 De Montfort died in battle against Edward. Edward is also known as "Longshanks" or "The Hammer of the Scots" -- you might remember him as the bad guy from the movie Braveheart. Edward is also responsible for much of how the Tower of London -- the last castle in our tour -- stands today.

Eventually, Kenilworth ended up in the hands of Robert Dudley, "the favourite" dude of Queen Elizabeth I. He turned the place into various lodgings to fit all manner of royal tastes, especially the Queen. She visited several times and the last visit in 1575 was apparently such a party that it almost bankrupt Dudley and also might be the inspiration for Shakespear's 'A Midsummer Night's Dream'.

There were two major strongholds in this region: Kenilworth Castle and Warwick Castle. During the English Civil War, Warwick was held by Parliamentarian forces and Kenilworth was held by the Crown. The Crown was on the losing end of things and Kenilworth was looted and slighted (the man-made lake was drained, too) in 1656 (10 years after Raglan Castle.) Kenilworth stands mostly in ruin, while Warwick is now a medieval theme park.



Next castle on the list is Warwick. Til then. Cheers!

Systematic Slighting

Castle numero doo-ey was Raglan Castle and it wasn't too far a drive from the first castle on our journey, White Castle. While White Castle was falling into ruins, Raglan was becoming the castle that now stands today -- around the middle of the 15th century the building that stands partly in ruins today was being built. The castle was built during the time when bows were being replaced with cannons -- in some pictures you will see cannon holes along side arrow slits.


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Raglan has some interesting history to it. The future King Henry VII (Henry Tudor) spent his boyhood there when he was moved for his safety during the War of the Roses. During the English Civil War, Raglan held out until 1646 when a siege by renewed Parliamentarian forces brought about the castle's final surrender. The castle was slighted and large portions were destroyed after the siege.

Check out the plan of the castle here.



And lastly, Raglan has shown up in a couple of movies, including the Led Zeppelin movie slash rock video slash trippy fantasy adventure with bad acting, "The Song Remains The Same". It took some digging but here is the YouTube clip featuring Robert Plant's sword fight in the Raglan Great Tower. There are many pieces of this movie on YouTube -- this was part 7 that I found. If you can't stand to watch more than necessary, fast forward five minutes into the clip.



Cheers!

The Other, Other White Castle

In this neck of the woods, White Castle actually means a castle and not a burger. Just across the Welsh border and only 15 minutes from our house, we wandered around this place last week. It is mostly in ruins and when we were there, no one was manning the gate. We had the place to ourselves except for a flock of rare blue-assed sheep.


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This is one of the "Three Castles" that were built in this area -- I haven't been to the other two yet. They were all built around the 12th century and fell into ruin around the 15th century. They never saw much military action but served as a line of defense for England against an unruly Welsh prince.

This was the first of six "castles" we saw last week, ranging from ruins to medieval tourist trap to the modern day home of the Queen. Til Then!

Cheers!



The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.
Confucius, Chinese philosopher & reformer (551 BC - 479 BC)

Castles Of Cheese

Anybody who has made the trip from Chicago to Milwaukee probably knows Mars' Cheese Castle, an infamous tourist trap selling products of varying quality to folks desperate for a bit of Wisconsin's legendary cheese. I've been there more than once. But this last week, I made my own real cheese AND went to a bunch of real castles. Take that, Mars' Cheese Castle.

In a previous blog I mentioned that I found rennet readily available in the grocery here. Rennet is simply an enzyme that causes milk to go Little Miss Muffet-style -- it makes milk break down into curds (solids) and whey (liquid). Following the easy steps at this website right here, I made a batch of neufchatel cheese.

I'd made mozzarella before but this cheese was a bit more involved -- it took about two days as opposed to 20 minutes. Add some buttermilk and rennet to regular milk, let it sit for a day whilst it forms the curds and then hang the whole lot up for a day so that the whey can drain off the curds. Salt it, flavor it as you choose, and start eating. It's amazing that all of this is done outside of refrigeration -- I guess it's the bacteria and acid in the buttermilk that protect the milk from other spoilage.

To drain my whey, I needed a makeshift apparatus created from a bar stool, a large wooden spoon, and two cans of petit pois to get some extra height. Boo, the ever-curious frenchie, found the entire process fascination. She also discovered that the whey in the drain-catch bowl was delicious.

The finished product is a cross between cream cheese and cottage cheese but with a certain freshness to it that you don't find in stuff from the store. I divided the batch up and so far have made raw garlic-infused cheese, chive-enhanced cheese, cheese with smoked paprika, and harissa cheese. It's good plain, too, on toasted bread.

All in all, a success. I plan on bringing the rennet home at Christmas to make a fresh batch of cheese whilst home.

Cheers!




How can you govern a country which has 246 varieties of cheese?
Charles De Gaulle (1890 - 1970)

A Tale of Too Many Castles

Yep, missed another week of blogging. But it was all for purposes of blog research. The in-laws came to town and we managed to visit six castles, travel all over London, eat really well, and take lots of pictures. Gimme a day or so to get organized and the blog will be back on track!

Canned Hot

Another adventure in canned meat!

This time it's the All-American hot dog UK-style, now with "best ever quality." It's the "UK's favorite hot dog!"

These things were far superior to the meat found in the Fully Monty and Big BBQ disasters-in-a-can that I tried earlier. They were just a tiny bit soggy, but not bad. I tried them under the 'top grill' in the oven and one out of the nuclear oven, too. They were better off the grill.


My biggest complaint is that these things were tiny (see comparison to leftover Halloween candy bar, below.) It would take four to fill a good American hot dog bug -- I'm not even sure what is the point of a hot dog in this form factor -- I didn't see tiny little buns anywhere in the grocery.

Still, it was surely a passable lunch when smothered in quasi-Chicago style with ketchup, American yellow mustard, a bit of mayo, some chopped Dwarf Apache (Seebach!) peppers, and a nice slathering of the now famous Wisconsin's best squirty cheese. Nice.

On deck are a larger version of this same company's dog, a steak and kidney pie-in-a-can, and attempt from Heinz to use sexual imagery to sell baked beans.

Cheers!


“Some people wanted champagne and caviar when they should have had beer and hot dogs.” Dwight David Eisenhower (1890-1969)

Roll On Down The, Uh, Information Superhighway

Buddy Bill got a haircut that he just had to share. Bill is in Chicago. We're in England. It's about time we break out the video phones. Our Internet here leaves a bit to be desired but Skype came through and video did the job. Boo and wee Sophia got to say "Hello!" and we didn't feel so far away after all. Nice 'do, Bill.

Cheers!





We rented a truck and a semi to tow
Travel down the long and divided road
Look on the map I think we've been there before,
Close up the doors, let's roll once more.
Roll On Down The Highway - Bachman-Turner Overdrive (1976)

The Bored Ultimatum

Anyone who both knows my wife and has seen the Bourne Ultimatum should check out the first link in the new gadget in the right-hand column, "Worth Watching?" When I am bored or waiting for some software to finish, I find odd bits on YouTube and such -- this one seemed quite appropriate. When it's worth sharing, it will end up here.

Chilled To The Bone

Boo isn't a big fan of the clammy English weather (once again, 40 degrees and rain today.) Since day one, she has had issues with being cold and has gone to extremes to stay warm. When she was just a pup, she would try to sleep on the metal furnace vents in the floor of our condo. The vents would get too hot, she would let out a yelp and then circle a few times and lay back down on the same vent. Repeat this over and over again and you can understand that the dog was desperate to stay warm. Fast-forward to present day where allergies have made her scratch her fur even thinner and you have one complicated dog.

Despite my Kept Man status, I really do have a day job (shh - don't tell anyone.) And a cold, irritated, and very persistent bulldog is a formidable distraction from my work. Now that the sun has gone for the winter, she no longer has her sunny spot to lay in each morning and she expects me to help -- or else. She's figured out that she needs to be near the radiators if she has any hope of surviving the winter -- or so she thinks.

So, the dog and I put our heads together and created a solution that works for both of us: the Boo-Tent. The largest radiator in the house is the master bedroom. We put Boo's bed next to the radiator and drape her blanket from her bed to the radiator and wedge it on top so the blanket stays put. This set up has lots of advantages. Boo gets the trapped heat from the radiator. She can walk in and out of the Boo-Tent without my help. It keeps her from wandering around the house building nests anywhere there are pillows, blankets, or clothes that she can reach. The best thing is that after her morning outside biz-ness, she will enter into the tent and hibernate until about 3 or 4 in the afternoon. Distraction eliminated and I have more time to blog.

Cheers!

My Compliments To The Frozen Chef

The two foods I miss the most here are good pizza and Mexican. I fear Mexican is a lost cause but finally there is some hope for pizza. And it comes from the frozen food section. It might be that my expectations have fallen -- this new pizza I tried is the same brand that I tried when we first got here and that first pizza was horrid. Even worse, the brand dares to call itself "Chicago Town".

By coincidence, when they were here the Spencers bought me a frozen pizza of the same brand. The day they left, I was home alone and hungry so I gave it a try. I'm not going to say it was great but it was really good -- and I ate the whole pizza.

Now I have to take back any ill will I sent to the Chicago Town folks. I've bought a few others of the same type and they are actually decent pizzas. I wouldn't serve them to Mom or any die-hard Chicagoan, but when I need a pizza fix and don't want to bother with yeast and all that, these will work just fine. Even the box confirms it, this pizza is "scrummy!"

Cheers!

The Majestic Buzz

Continuing the day of sinful blogging, I've found my new Costco. That is, at least as far as my booze is concerned. There is a chain of stores in the UK called the "Majestic Wine Warehouse". A branch opened in Hereford just since we lived here so it's not just new for the Yanks. We kept driving by it -- it's on our only path into town -- and finally decided to stop this past weekend.

The place is simple but clean and bright and very white. Not unlike some of the large liquor stores in the US, stacks of boxes of wine line the aisles and fill the corners. Loose bottles sit on top with details and pricing. The wife wandered to the free wine tasting center (surprisingly unsupervised) and I found my way to the case beer selection.

Case beer, in the groceries anyway, typically means cases of cans or really expensive cases of bottles. I'm still in the "try everything I see" stage of life overseas, so buying a full case of anything expensive doesn't work. At the Warehouse, I was surprised to find an impressive mix of variety packs from brewers, both UK and beyond. For better or worse, this was also the first place I've seen a case of Labatt Blue.

Consistently, one of my favorite beers before coming to England was Chimay -- a Belgian Trappist Ale. To our Moms and Dads: you would not like this beer. It's dark, strong (upwards of 9%), and has flavors that you didn't even know beer could have, like ripe fruit and spice. Lo and Behold, the Warehouse had 6-bottle cases of Chimay packed with a Chimay glass for less than a tenner. Even better, it was a mix of the red label and the harder to find blue and white labels of Chimay. I'll take one please.

Consistently, one of my favorite beers after coming to England has been St Peter's Organic. The local stores carry loose bottles of a few of their varieties. I was dumbstruck when I found the Warehouse had not only cases of their best bitter, but also two different variety packs. One of the packs, Dark Beers, was full of beers I hadn't seen elsewhere. For 16 quid, not a bad deal - mixed cases ordered direct from the brewer are £22 and up.

The Warehouse continued to impress. You can order in-store or online and they will deliver. They have frequent wine tasting nights where you can try their latest selections paired with cheese and probably some crumpet action, too. The clerk at the store said they change their offerings frequently.

Now, I just need someone to split a case with. That Boo is a light-weight.

Cheers!

The Just and the Unjust Are Pretty Well Soaked

Thought I'd share the view from my home office. It hasn't changed much in about a week except it gets dark at about 4:30 in the afternoon. Rain, rain, and then a downpour or two. We had lightning last night -- don't seem to get much of that here. Nothing quite like a grand thunderstorm but nothing worse than weeks of dull drizzle.

Cheers. Pfffft.



The rain fell alike upon the just and upon the unjust, and for nothing was there a why and a wherefore. - W. Somerset Maugham (1874 - 1965)

Salt of the Earth

Thanks to Pez, a new salt has a permanent place on the spice rack. Most people have some table salt, maybe some sea salt. In typical fashion, we go overboard with a pig full of cooking salt, a grinder of sea salt, a small jar of salt with truffle essence, a recently added jar of smoked sea salt from the Hereford Food Fest, and a treasured bag of hand raked sea salt that we found in Portugal. Each one is different and can completely change a finished dish when sprinkled on just before serving.

And, now, last but not least, from the Spice House in Chicago, Vulcan's Fire Salt. A mix of salt with tang from citrus and vinegar, heat from habanero peppers, and aromatic spices like allspice and cumin, this stuff is amazingly versatile for those that like their food a bit spicier. So far, I've tried it on eggs, popcorn, pie from a can, rillets, and some minced pork meatballs and it works with everything. I wonder if they ship overseas?

Cheers!

Canned Pie

Alright, another adventure in British processed foods: the savoury pie in a can. Overall, for food out of a can, I was impressed. This steak and ale pie was much better than the Hunger Break mush-meat I'd tried previously, except for the last few bites...


The pie gets its name, Fray Bentos, from a town in Uruguay where it means "Friar Benedict". The name was applied to a line of British products made by oh-so-appetizingly named "Liebig Extract of Meat Company" whose main production site was in the town. I think it's all owned by Cambell's Soup now and made in the UK.

Pie prep: First, the can states that you need to remove the lid before baking. There may be a future blog regarding the results of making the pie whilst skipping that step. Lid off, the can reveals a thick layer of what appears to be raw dough -- the can says it's puff pastry. A bit of very thick brown gravy was trying to ooze out at the edge of the dough.


Next, slide the can into a hot oven for 25 minutes. I was home alone, making this for lunch, so instead of setting a timer, I just went back to work in the office upstairs and waited until I could smell a burnt pie crust permeating the house. I sorta forgot I was making it: I was that excited by this pie.


I didn't really know what to expect when I opened the oven, but I didn't expect the Jiffy-Pop- inspired exploding crust. It seems our oven runs a bit hot, so in less than 25 minutes we had slightly charred pie.


The crust was impressive, but I had to see what was underneath it. I violated the pie and revealed a thick layer of dark brown gravy and chunks of ... well ... let's call it minced "steak".



I was hungry so the pie wasn't all that bad. The meat wasn't too mushy, the gravy (at first) had a passable flavour and texture, and the crust had a decent flake to it. After a bite or two, I doused the whole thing in Vulcan fire salt (a habanero and spice infused salt) -- it needed a little something something to get me through the whole thing. As the pie cooled, though, whatever thickeners and stabilizers lived in the gravy made the last few bites take on an unnatural consistency not unlike very thick chocolate pudding from a box. It stuck to the fork, coated my throat, and nearly made me wretch. Next pie, I eat faster.


The damage: Over 800 calories and 40 grams of fat, balanced out by 35 grams of protein. Not as bad as drinking a quart of real custard, but not nearly as tasty, either.

Cheers!

PIE, n. An advance agent of the reaper whose name is Indigestion. - The Devil's Dictionary (Ambrose Pierce)

The Spoils of Home

Finally getting caught up after our spontaneous trip back to the USA! Last Monday, the wife called and said, "I have a crazy idea." Next thing you knew, we were taking a three day holiday in Chicago. First and foremost, thanks to Mel for letting us crash at his downtown condo. When you only have three days, location is everything!


It was a full weekend, with gatherings of friends every day and every night. For me, I fit in a trip to run into Wisconsin to surprise my 91-year old grandma who thought she was never going to see me again. Friday night, sleep-deprived chatting and a massive chorizo burrito. Saturday, we ate our favorite sushi (Tsuki) and then crashed a Halloween party (I was the guy with the cowbell.) Sunday was American-style grocery shopping and brunch at the Evanoff's followed by visiting all the new homes of our friends. Monday was lunch at the Berghoff (American chili dogs!), then shopping and our first dinner with less than a crowd. Tuesday, the jet lag came in handy for the 5AM wake up to make our return flight. Whoosh... and it then it was over.


There are lots of things we miss in Chicago. Our friends, friend's kids, and friend's dogs aren't open for coming back with us, so we had to settle for a few edible momentos and some expensive consumer goods (everything seemed like it was on-sale for us!) Given more time, we could have easily filled a suitcase (and we bought two of those just to be safe!)


I sooo miss good Mexican food and though you can get some things here, most of it is crap or so tuned to the British palate that it just tastes weird to me. For example, many of the salsas here have a sweet, pickled taste to them. Ewwww. We brought back various Mexican salsas (mostly muled into the country from Mexico by a friend), 6 packs of corn tortillas (the corn tortillas here are nothing like the real thing), a bag of masa flour (for making corn tortillas from scratch once the fresh are gone), and so forth. Next time, I hope to make it to the Maxwell Street Market to get a few kilos of dried peppers to augment everything else. I am down to just an ancho or two.


It was a good trip and hopefully it cures some homesickness instead of just making it worse! We'll be back again for the holidays and next visit, we should have enough time to see just about everybody. Til then.

And for those of you who aren't sure what the deal with cowbell is, you need to watch this clip.

Without friends no one would choose to live, though he had all other goods.
Aristotle (384 BC - 322 BC)

Mary Lou Rennet

One time, when I lived back in Chicago, I was in the Whole Foods chee-eeeeze section. They have some impressive variety and the staff is pretty knowledgeable as well. I was on a kick where I thought the best pizza would be one made from scratch. Meaning, well, you would grind your own flour, make your own pepperoni, etc. Extreme, some would say.

I had dabbled with cheese making earlier on in my culinary experiences. You can buy some curious kits online that allow you to convert a gallon of milk to a tiny little ball of cheee-eeeze. The cheese is decent and it's fun to watch milk self-destruct when a tiny little drop of "rennet" is added to it.

So, while in Whole Foods, I inquired if they had any rennet. The lady behind the counter scoffed at me,'do you know what THAT is?' Yes, I do, and I want it.

FLASHBACK: Rennet, way back in like 72000 BC, was sorta discovered when young animals were slaughtered. A calf, for example, fat on mommy's milk would be cut open and its stomach would be full of curdled milk. Some fledgling cromagnon engineer then figured out if they tossed a calf's stomach into a stone cauldron of milk, the whole damn thing would curdle. Next thing you know, they were making grilled cheese sandwiches.

Fast-forward: Now it's present day England. I'm walking through TESCO and lo and behold I see a gigantic bottle of the magic liquid for like 99 pence. This fountain of possibility lies un-tapped in the pantry. It will wait until I have figured out where I can cure sticks of pepperoni. But then, when the moos align, and I have the means to make flour from grain, the greatest pizza Herefordshire has ever seen will be pulled from the oven of the Lilacs.

Til then.

Cheers!

Love It Or Hate It

In the altered words of Christopher Walken as THE Bruce Dickinson: "I've got a fever... and the only prescription is more Marmite."

It's true folks.

When we ambled over to England on our first 'exploratory' trip to find a place to live for eternity, we stayed at a fantastic bed and breakfast, the Somerville House in Hereford. Each morning, the convivial hosts, Bill and Rosie, prepare and serve a true English breakfast -- the likes of which I am yet to find elsewhere. They focus on local ingredients and freshness. Blood sausage, grilled tomatoes, mushrooms, poached eggs and... Marmite. There it was, sitting on the condiment plate, innocent enough in its tiny, little, brown jar. Well, the rest is bloggable history...

Now, I am a Marmite junkie. In the house, at this moment, I have Walker's (Frito Lay) Marmite flavoured crisps, Marmite breadsticks, Marmite cheese, Marmite rice cakes, and a jar of Marmite to dip all of these in because they never really do put enough Marmite in the Marmite products. It's too thick to dip a crisp directly into, so I thin it out with some Red Hot (are you listening Marmite? Spicy Marmite's time is now!) so the crisps come out just so. Slather some Marmite on a crumpet (I wish that was a joke, they really are good) with some rich Welsh butter and top it with a egg and some sharp cheese. Whew. I've blogged about that experience before but it's worth repeating. Making gravy? Add some Marmite. Having a burger? Ketchup ain't nothing next to Marmite. I just can't wait for the special edition Marmites that are released every 2000 years or so. Guiness Marmite? Champagne Marmite? Oh, the possibilities.

Cheers!

Don't Make Me Part Of The Problem

That Explains Why A Long John Is Good For A Week

The first thing I noticed about Bird's Custard was its striking similarity to the "custard" they stuff the donuts with back home. I love that stuff -- or is that I now loved that stuff? Now that I have the real stuff available in copious amounts, this fake custard just didn't seem right. I enjoyed it immensely. I ate lots of it. But it didn't seem right.

So I did some homework. A key difference between this and the wonderfully rich traditional custards is that this stuff is thickened with cornstarch while the real stuff is thickened with eggs. In fact, the reason for its existence is because the inventor's wife was allergic to eggs. I had always wondered why a custard-filled long john back home was still non-toxic after a few days of sitting in a cardboard box on the counter. Does the lack of eggs explain it? Perhaps.

I may keep a shelf-stable box of Bird's powder in the pantry for when I have an insatiable desire for custard. It may be crap, but it's still custard. Oh, a reference that only folks from college will understand -- you could fill a bathtub with this stuff for cheap.

Cheerios.


Donuts. Is there anything they can't do? -- Matt Groening (1954 - )

Balti-More

We took another day trip up to Birmingham this past weekend. First, we watched the London Rollergirls spank the Birmingham Blitz Dames with a score of 274-23. Ouch.

Afterwards, we made our first trip into the Balti Triangle, an area just south of the Birmingham city center that has dozens of restaraunts specializing in Balti-style food. Balti was invented in Birmingham around 1977 -- it's similar to other "Indian" food but each dish is finished and served in a small flat-bottomed pan similar to a wok. This BBC article right here does a good job of explaining the whole scene.

We tried the restuarant "Al Frash" at the recommendation of one of our many guidebooks. I tried their house specialty, Afrodesia, a finely minced mixture of chicken and prawn in a slightly spicy ginger and garlic sauce. It was good -- but not that different than what I consider typical Indian food. The area is worth another trip to try to figure out the huge draw.

Cheers!

Hereford Booze Festival

This past weekend in Hereford was the "Flavours of Herefordshire Food Festival", held in Hereford at the Hereford Racecourse. Over 100 vendors were on display showing off their locally produced products.

The big attraction this year was the "Hairy Bikers". I didn't know who they were but I walked close enough to them that I felt their overwhelming charisma wash over me. Not really, but I did walk by them. I haven't seen their show(s) but I will keep an eye out. They are life-long foodies slash bikers.

Overall, the festival was just ok. The main tent was too small for the crowd, so much so that we skipped more than one booth we would have otherwise tried out. The area near the first tent's entrance was a clear example of lack of understanding of people management. It was somewhere in this area a lovely, older lady identified us (must be my American flag jean jacket and constant singing of Bruce Springsteen tunes) as American and made an unsavoury comment to my wife about her "American" conduct "in line". This whole place was such a bloody mess that I heard more than one person say they were giving up and going outside so I'm not sure what was done that was uniquely American. Worse yet, many vendors also sold out of their more popular items before we got to them -- like the new winter flavors ofTyrell's Potato Crisps, including beef and horseradish. Nuts!

There is no question that the laws over here must be more lenient on the small batch production of liquor, beer, wine, and cider. About a fifth of the larger and more popular exhibits were alcohol related, including local whiskey and vodka producers. And they all had samples. Needless to say, by the time my previously-empty stomach made its way to the vendors outside selling sandwiches (we had a delicious roasted lamb baguette) and pizzas, I had a decent little freebie buzz going on. A few tastes of beer, some Celtic hootch, lime Vodka, rosehip wine, some dry cider, some sweet cider, Tyrell's vodka (of potato crisp fame), some bubbly, and so forth. The crowd didn't seem quite so bad by the time I reached the end of the tent.

Two good things came out of the event. First, I bolstered my liquor cabinet with some exciting new additions. Second, I gathered lots of pamphlets for local vendors -- many with websites and free local delivery. I expect I will soon be exploring websites about rare breed meats and getting them delivered straight to my gullet. At the top of my list is Frasers of Turnastone.

About the booze: I mentioned Monkhide in a previous post about our day trip to Ludlow. They were again selling their flavored wines, vodkas, whiskeys, and brandies. I already had a bottle of their vanilla vodka, maple whiskey, and pear brandy. We added a bottle of lime vodka and cherry brandy. The vanilla and lime vodkas are recommended to be frozen -- their alcohol content is such that they won't freeze solid but they turn to thick slush. Monkhide recommends letting them stand for a few minutes and then drinking the still icy result. I've tried it with the vanilla and it really is excellent.

I also sampled some local whiskey from a Welsh distillery, Penderyn. They had four varieties on sale -- including one that was "peated" (I think that means the malt used for the whiskey has been roasted by a source partially fueled by peat to give it an earthy flavour) and that one gentleman explained to me was there just to "appease the Scots." Ok, then. I bought a bottle of their main offering -- it really is fine stuff. Check out their website for awards and reviews, including pictures of the Prince drinking the stuff -- apparently he serves this brand at home. For you Chicago folks, it is also available at Binny's and Sam's.

Not sure if I would go next year, but the list of exhibitors and their websites is a good compilation of local resources that I will look forward to.

Cheers!

Warning: Dangerous Stereotypes Ahead

I'm going to skirt the lines of a touchy subject. If you do a Google search for "English bad teeth" you will discover multiple forums of mostly British folks discussing why other people (Americans) think they have bad teeth. In general, the average person in the forum thinks that Americans have hyper-perfect teeth, to a fault, and that Americans invest too much time making teeth whiter and straighter and that Americans think the English have bad teeth because English teeth aren't as white and aren't as straight. The truth is before Austin Powers, I never even thought about it.

That said, we've lived in England for about six months now. Hardly a lifetime but enough to get an opinion: Does everyone have bad teeth? No, not even close. But I can safely say I have seen more utterly shocking grills here than anywhere else I've been in the world. I completely understand where the Mike Myer's inspiration comes from. The odd teeth I have seen may because we live out in the sticks -- in fact, I'm pretty sure that has a lot to do with it because when travelling into London and such I don't notice the same thing.

If you read some of the more informed comments in the forums and in various other sources, you get the idea that about 50 years ago there was some more serious dental problems that were prominent in the UK. That has almost entirely been rectified by various approaches like putting chemicals in the drinking water, having more and better dentists, etc. This type of thing would be slower to have an effect in rural areas and I think that is the case where we live.

I started wondering about this after reading the back of a tasty bag of pork crackles. Warnings on pork crackles, no matter how tasty they are, really aren't helping the perception. C'mon Mr. Porky, you are part of the problem. Thank god Austin Powers number 4 is in the works now... soon we will have new British stereotypes so we can forget about the teeth.

Cheers!

Bread and Honey

I'm working on getting the gist of Cockney rhyming slang. It explains a few things you have heard around town. For example, "chew the fat" is rhyming slang for "have a chat". Would you "Adam and Eve It?" is slang for "Would you believe it?" One of the traditional reasons for using the slang was so that non-locals or people outside of your social circle wouldn't understand what you were talking about. This might include the police -- rhyming slang may have been the language of tea leaves -- er -- thieves.

I told my dear wife the other night that "Chuckie Cheese" was rhyming slang for "bitch, please", but I digest...

Made some more bread. My blog is so popular that people actually send me recipes now. Well, a person sent me a recipe, but it's a start. In response to previous bread blogs, one of my followers (thanks Belle!) sent me a recipe for "Cuban bread". Nice and easy -- takes about an hour from start to finish. Good for me: the impatient baker. I juiced mine up with some wheat and oat bran but followed the recipe pretty closely beyond that. Good bread -- mine was dense, not sure if that is intended (it only rises for 15 minutes) or because of the extra colon blow I added. The other loaves I made took a bit too long to be practical at any regular interval.

Cheers!