I didn't even see it coming. I'm sure the signs were there but somehow I missed them. This is how it happens: bit by bit it gets into your head and next thing you know you are talking like Austin Powers and have bad teeth. Yeah, baby, yeah.
In case you haven't figured it out already, my favorite UK breakfast cereal is no doubt Weetabix. Weetabix is the most popular cereal here. And it's like Marmite. When you first eat it, it is sorta surprising how mushy and bland it is, but then a fortnight later, you are craving it. It comes 
packaged in large fiber turds, each roughly the size of a McDonald's hash brown (hmm, now that sounds tasty!) Once milk touches said turds, you have approximately 13 seconds to eat the Weetabix before it disintegrates. I've timed this and it's accurate.
You'd think the incredible lack of texture in Weetabix would be a negatory aspect of the food. Not so. Like the food I ate as a baby, once those 13 seconds are up, you can ingest four bricks in mere seconds. It may be the most efficient food in existence. It's not about taste or enjoyment, it's about a good BM achieved with the least effort possible. If a good BM means I'm becoming more British, then bring on the tatties and God Save the Queen!
Ooo, Behave!
PS If you are on the Weetabix legal team, I really do like your cereal though I don't know why. I will feed it to my house guests, too. And I don't really think it will give me bad teeth -- I'm fairly certain that has something to do with brown sauce.
Friday, August 15
22,983 Weetabix Were Made While Writing This Blog
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4 comments:
Brilliant Blog! I had some business downtown on Friday so afterwards I treated myself to lunch at Fado Pub to get in the spirit of British-ness (I know Fado is an “Irish Pub” but close as I can get on short notice). I considered having bangers and mash, then thought about an Irish breakfast, before settling on the classic fish and chips (lunch sized portion). The condiments served were brown sauce (obviously imported because it has stickers placed over the nutrition info so you can read it in non-metric units), mustard, and vinegar. Since I had the smaller lunch portion, I compensated by having three pints of Strongbow. With three hours before my train, I had time to kill and a 30 minute walk to the station (where I had time for another pint of Shandy).
Congrats on your regularity. You are now officially an old man.
Old men dream about regularity like mine. Right, Bob Dole? Right, Keptman.
Oh, and Spence: I was sure we were heading down the gutter when your comment on my BM blog started with "I had some business downtown..."
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