And now.... the Breast of the Story

I took some criticism for my overtly mushy posts about sunsets, daisies, and puppy dogs. Point taken. This post is here to set the blog back on the right (or wrong) track. Folks, if you are at work, stop clicking now because you are on your way to an English gutter. Keep an eye out for Hugh Grant.

So the other day I was doing some legitimate non-adult entertainment oriented searches for help on some of our UK issues. For those of you who don't know, when you take a job in another country, you are officially an 'expatriate' or 'expat' for short. This doesn't imply you aren't a patriot (as in ex-patriot), rather it means something like you left your father's land. When looking for help on certain topics, I'll often Google something like 'expat car insurance'.

I'm not quite sure where The Sun, a UK newspaper, stands as far as respectability. It might be the equivalent of Weekly World News or the National Enquirer but I think it holds a much higher place than that (at least the stories aren't just made up.) They have a section of their online edition that is simply called "Expats" with a tagline of "Always Giving You Extra News About Life Overseas". One of my searches led me here, and wow, did I find some interesting stuff. If you go off on your own, watch out for any section labeled "Page 3"...

I'll just share some of my favorite headlines (naked stuff ahead):

• Topless Porn Star Footy Match
• Topless Is Simply the Breast
• Bikini Clad Babes Are Racing
• When Thongs Go Wrong
• School's New Trannie Loo
• Get Her Over Your Shoulder
  

I love that even when they don't have a naw-ty pic to go with the story, they find some nice trampy unrelated eye candy to go with. Classic reporting. I'm not entirely sure how these stories got lumped as stuff British expats would want to read in one place.

That said, the Sun has a ton of legitimate news. As is the style over here, the reporters tend to use more colorful phrasing and a less serious attitude than what I am used to in the US. For example, in Sports, how about this quote: 'RAFA Nadal got bum's rush from fans for scratching his bottom before every point'. Now that's news.

Enjoy.

Sun On Daisies

This past weekend, we had our first social evening with our neighbors -- it started our with just the couple next door (roughly our age) but elevated to include everyone in our little cluster of four homes (where we are all are related by blood or leases.) We had a truly great evening sitting out on their garden with a bottle of wine or seven, some perry (pear cider), a beer or two, and great impromptu BBQ with chicken, burgers, and more. Late in the evening when just the young crowd was still up, we had some homemade "gin" that I need to get the recipe for -- it was made from a small plum that grows around here. It was very sweet and strong.

One of the best things to come out of it was Boo now has her first English friend, Dolly. Dolly is a nine-month-young black lab pup who is intended to be a working dog but the jury is out on that, it sounds. After a couple of scrapes and some "sexy" time from Boo, they seem to have become fast friends. Bruce, the older dog in the group, was a bit cranky and before the night was over, Boo lost it when Bruce growled at her... Boo had to go home not long after that -- she had every intent of 'keeping it real'.

Yet another outcome: we have our "in" for the local events that happen in the Callow. There is a pig roast coming up in August that we hope to attend with the neighbors where we will no doubt meet more of the Callow residents. On queue, a roasting pig went by on a trailer and the smell was heavenly.

At one point in the evening, the conversation was about the sunsets here -- we had noticed them many nights. The colors in the sky are phenomenal and different every night. Lisa told us that there will be nights when the sun is setting and the moon is rising and the sky will be split between orange and red on one side and blue and green on the other. If you walk up one of the high roads (we are down in a small valley), the view is spectacular, she said. I'll leave you with some of the many pictures we'd already taken of the sunset and hopefully one night we'll get a shot of the sun and moon together.

Cheers!

Can't You See This Is The Land of Confusion?

A smattering of updates on life in the UK...

We have officially ordered our Volvo V50. We even were able to pick a color from three choices (grey, gold, funky blue) and we went with the Titanium Grey Pearl. We HOPE to have delivery in about 2 weeks but I will believe it when the car is parked out front. We got a 1-year lease for 20,000 miles. We pay a bit extra for the "non-standard" means through which we were forced to go, but really not a bad deal. Rachel has forced me to take on as captain of the SS Lexus 430 and sail all over Hereford. I have been practicing driving with my right hand (I almost always drive with my left) so that my left hand will be ready for shifting the manual tranny.

In my ignorance, I didn't start thinking about car insurance until the 11th hour. I called the company in town that supplies our renter's insurance and they quoted us about triple what we expected. Long story made slightly shorter: I ended up finding a company that had no problem with our non-UK driver's license and gave us a good deal -- I actually found 3 companies that were OK. They have an interesting insurance service here called CallConnection. You call them and they figure out what companies will actually give you insurance and then they somehow transfer your calls all over the UK to different companies as you get quotes. Nice.

The next big step (once car is in hand) is we have to start working on getting first our UK provisional driver's licenses and then we have to take a couple of tests, including a driving test that lots of people fail multiple times. We have until April 18 next year to complete this. Training and testing are both apparently expensive. Amazon UK carries quite a few 'pass the test' books and software packages to help you pass. Big annoyance: the UK has reciprocal agreements with many countries through which you just trade your home country's license in for a new UK one. They won't do it with the USA, but they will with Canada, Japan, and Zimbabwe (for example). Huh?

Yet another company here floored us with its complete lack of customer service. Again we were told that this 'wasn't represenative' of how the company normally works -- and I am trying to believe them this time. This time it was NatWest, the 2nd bank we tried to get a joint account at. Here is how it went: We completed an app over the phone, received paperwork in mail two days later. We then went to local branch, stood in line, then supplied proof of ID and address to complete application. Couple days later our account advisor called and said all was in order and we should have our cards and such in about 3-4 days. Cool. Then, nothing shows up. I call NatWest and find that our account advisor has had some sort of 'crisis' and is away from work indefinitely. Her voice mail gives a new number to call (which had two digits swapped) for a guy that now works somewhere else. After a week of calling NatWest everyday I FINALLY got a call back from a branch manager. Our paperwork, he thinks, was locked in said missing person's desk and un-obtainable short of "jimmying the desk". This past weekend we were forced to go to the bank in person, again, and start the process over. The only saving grace was when we walked and said we had an appointment, the lady immediately responded, "Mr. Edwards?" Whew -- now we are getting somewhere! We walked out in 30 minutes with our account open and our account numbers in hand.

Rachel and I both have our National Insurance Numbers (NIN), now. I even have a very official looking card. These, by the way, allowed us to open Cash ISA accounts at NatWest -- I think these are basically the UK equivalent of tax-sheltered Roth IRA accounts. Don't tell Uncle Sam but my money will be hiding in there.

There, now you know more than the average customer service agent here.

Callow Lilies

The Lilacs has more surprises. A calla lily popped out of a plain-looking plant. Right behind it, what I thought was just a gnarly tree is apparently a giant rose -- uh -- tree.

Funny Lady

There is a website here that has excellent and realistic prices on lease cars. Unfortunately, they won't lease to us since we don't have UK licenses (and won't have for many months.) I use it as my baseline when the dealers I am forced to work with give me prices that I have no idea about.

Either way, the lots-of-nonsense with no-nonsense prices scheme works for me. Here is a snip from www.lingscars.com!

Bad Motor Scooter

First off, big thanks to the voters out there. The Volvo V50 was a clear and present winner of the 'Pick Kept Man A Car' poll.

You may recall I mentioned that some cars were more available than others for leasing. I spoke to 'my guy with the connections' today -- who just came back to civilization after some deal with BT caused him to lose Internet at his office for almost 2 weeks -- and all of our efforts to achieve some type of normal financing have ultimately failed. This was a surprise and disapointment since the latest attempt included Rachel's company as a co-signor; the underwriters didn't care since we're not citizens. This means forget about the Ford Focus, the Vauxhall Astra, the C30R, and also the Qashqai.

Of the cars that were discussed via the poll, the only two that we have any chance of getting through a very non-standard deal are the Volvo V50 and the Audi A3 SportBack. This deal gives us basically no control over miles per year, color, options, engine, etc. -- it's either take it or leave it. The good news is that the V50 is in high-demand -- but for one of the smaller engines -- which means the leasing company is offering the same price with an upgrade from the 1.6 diesel to the 2.0 diesel. Everyone except Mike Antoine can probably stop reading this paragraph right here: Performance-wise, this is a huge boost from 109 to 136 horsepower and from 240 to 320NM of torque and changes the 0-60MPH time from 11.5 to 9.0 secs. The downside, to reiterate that we get no control over options, is that it is a standard SE (not a bad package though) with no Bluetooth. I think I can add a roof rack, though, aftermarket.

I am working on securing a reasonable quote for insurance before we seal the deal on the Volvo. What I have been told so far is insurance companies in the UK don't like to insure lease cars, non-citizens, people without UK licenses, and people who have been in the UK less than one year. The quotes I've gotten so far were a bit ugly but the agent is going to keep looking... here we go again.

Arizona Is...

McDonald's here has a line of burgers on special that change every week called the 'Great Tastes of America'.

It started with the Miami Melt, defined by an authentic chilli-chive bun (huh?) and extra cheese sauce to go with the 'cheese made from Monterrey Jack.' Next was the New York Supreme with its fancy upscale sesame split bun and no funny business like onions or sauces. The California Classic uses up the leftover New York buns but adds more 'cheese made from Monterrey Jack', onions, and a 'SunBlush' tomato sauce (they better mean ketchup). Finally, the Arizona Grande (available now), trumps them all with that same chilli-chive bun, black pepper mayo, and 'cheese with peppers'. Oh, and every American loves bacon so you know they put it on all of them.

With all these sangwiches (not a typo if you listen to Dane Cook), you can upgrade to a side of classic American tempura-style onion rings with sweet chili sauce (?) and a Toffee Oreo McFlurry.

These sandwiches don't really sound all that bad, but it makes you try to think back to the last time you were some place and they offered something like a European style this or Australian steakhouse that and you thought it was legit. Makes you understand how people can get horrible misconceptions about a place.

Regardless of all that, kudos to McDonalds marketing because after staring at the subliminal messages hidden in the poster I have never wanted a Micky D's Arizona Grande so bad in my life. Maybe my lovely wife will read this post and make a pit stop on the way home.

Oh, and if you can see that price, I am going to break a rule for you. We try not convert pounds to dollars in our head because its painful to comprehend. That Arizona Grande is four pound eighty (4.80) if you get the medium meal. Conversion right now is about 2 to 1. So, in US dollars, that burger 'value' meal would be $9.60. The large meal would be $10.20. Ouch!

Box Without Hinges, Key, Or Lid

At Legges (the butcher we tried over the weekend), they had goose eggs. Rachel asked the guy behind the counter what you do with a goose egg. He had to go ask but the answer was 'anything you do with a chicken egg.' We scrambled 'em with some fresh button mushrooms in the mix.

The picture shows 3 of the 4 eggs we've tried here; I didn't have quail eggs on hand for the photo shoot. Should be obvious, but from left to right its a goose egg, a duck egg, and a chicken egg (organic and free range.)

It seems the bigger you get, the more rubbery the white of the egg becomes with even the slightest over-cooking. Because of this, one recipe recommended cooking scrambled goose eggs over the gentlest heat you can manage, preferably over a double-boiler. After my first attempt, I understand why -- the whites became rubbery as soon as they hit the too-hot pan. The yolks are creamier in the larger eggs, even after cooking. I will say the flavor of the duck eggs -- and even more so in the goose eggs -- is more pronounced.

The bottom picture, which was pushing the limits of the camera phone, is me candling an egg to make sure that there isn't an alien baby in there. This was recommended for goose eggs -- I'm not sure why...

Man Toy

When I say Man-Toy, what is the first thing that comes to mind? I have a diverse reader group so that would be a fun list to guess.

In England, there are a lot of lawns to mow. Ours at the Lilacs could easily be mowed twice a week, probably three when it is raining a lot. When we first moved in, we had a lot of upfront expense, so I thought a good way to save a lot of coin would be to get one of those nice little rotary motors (a Qualcast Panther 30) You know, the ones that the blade spins when you make the wheels move; no other source of power besides your left and right leg.

Then we discovered that our lawn grows fast. And thick. And it rains a lot. Mowing the lawn was at least half a day and even then it didn't look all that great. The rotary mower had a habit of knocking over half the grass and cutting what was left standing.

Eventually, our friendly neighbor took sympathy on us and literally gave us a mower. A hover mower, to be precise. What's a hover mower? Imagine your standard gas push mower: You pull the cord, it starts, you push it, it rolls around and cuts the grass. Now imaging that same mower without those handy wheels. That, friends, is a hover mower. The idea is that the same motor that drives the blade can pull in air and pump it out beneath the mower deck, creating a cushion of air that the mower rides on instead of wheels. Like a hover craft. In theory, they are nice because you can push or pull them any direction with little effort -- great for smaller lawns and trimming.

Now, the mower we were given was definitely some of the earlier hover technology. The problem was that if you hit thick grass, the blade slowed down and when the blade slowed down, the 'air pump' slowed down too. And then hovering mower slowly floated back to earth... and shaved bald spots into the lawn. Eventually it would speed up again and float back to its operating height of 2 inches off the ground. It was actually slower to use then the hand mower.

Another big difference here is that at least half of the mower market isn't gas, its electric. Mowing the lawn means getting out a very long extension cord and hoping you don't mow over it. The hover mower was electric.

Eventually, we broke down and decided to get a more substantial mower. Enter the Flymo 360XC. Flymo is a very prominent brand here that we know better in the USA as Husqavarna. After doing some research at Which!, the UK equivalent to Consumer Reports, I picked the 360XC for its nice combination of features at a good price. This one is electric, too. Amazon UK delivered it in a day and away I went (if you overlook the first mower I received that was missing the handle...)

I've mowed the lawn several times with it now and I am not disappointed. Its very easy to use, switches modes (mower, mulcher, bagger) well, and can handle the worst our lawn can throw at. On the downside, if we use the bagger, our mutant lawn can easily fill the catch 30 times on one mow. I now have a 50 meter extension cord that gives me ample opportunity to almost run over my cord.

So here it is, a graphic ode to my Flymo:

Dig Deep

Last chance! Vote for a car...

Way Down Yonder And Are You Really Looking For a Snail Farm?

We did a mini-tour of the northern county this past Saturday. We started with a trip to Legges in Bromyard (see the Scotch Egg post) . Great butcher!

From there, we decided to find Dunkerton's Cider Mill (makers of the infamous band-aid flavored cider) but en route ended up at a place called Monkland Dairy. When it started in 1988, this was the only place in Herefordshire making hard cheeses. It was a fun place and the jovial ladies behind the counters definitely were excited about cheese and getting you to taste it.

We decided to stay for a lunch (they had a very small menu with cheese and coffee at the center of it): I had a bleu cheese Ploughman's Lunch (picture at top left) and Rachel had the tomato, lemon, and thyme soup. We bought a handful of cheeses to take home, too. The shop was a little out of the way for us but conveniently, they have a store right in Hereford, too. I like the starting line of their brochure, "An over indulgence while dining with friends led the Hindles to a life of cheese..."

In between the dairy and the cider mill, we wandered around in very quaint Pembridge, including its church and bell tower. There is a restaurant in town, the New Inn, that we heard from our landlady should be worth a trip back (but I was too full on cheese.)

From there, finally to the cider mill and its side-shop selling chocolates, ice cream, and nougat. We didn't know there was a chocolate shop at the cider mill. It had just a small retail shop under the name of "Williams & Dunkerton" with handmade truffles and such; apparently most of their business is doing cakes and special events. I bought some liquor truffles with chocolate, amaretto, and coffee liquors -- I've eaten most of them already and I'm not disappointed so far. Rachel bought some nougat (very good.) The chocolate shop was the high-point of the Dunkerton's experience.

The cider mill wasn't very impressive and the 'tasting' of cider was a little more ... um ... rustic than I was hoping for. Billy Ray Cyrus's English cousin was working the 'store'. Billy grabbed a questionably clean glass from some hidden shelf, gave it a quick rinse, and asked what we wanted to try. You couldn't sample most of the ciders (especially not the interesting ones). I tried the dry cider, then Rachel tried the sweet. We then tried the medium sweet, which (its logical, I guess) was just a pull of each of dry and sweet. Wow, I said to Billy, we could make that at home. I bought a couple of bottles that Billy seemed to hold in higher regard than the rest (we couldn't taste these) but I won't be going back anytime soon. Dunkerton's is easily available in local shops; I'm not sure why anyone would make a repeat trip to the mill. No sign of band-aids, by the way.

Lastly, we once again attempted to locate the snail farm hidden in SAS territory. After asking several locals, including one nice lady who questioned more than once with a smile on her face if we were really looking for a snail farm, we finally came to the conclusion that the snail farm is no more or at the least not open to the public anymore. I think this leaves a hole in the global snail market that I may work on filling. Anyone found a blog on snail husbandry or whatever its called?

Cheers!

How Many Licks?

This weekend we explored the wonders (or lack thereof) of the Scotch Egg. I had my first Scotch Egg at some restaurant in Mt. Pleasant, Michigan probably 15 years ago. Then, it was quite a novelty to have something so... foreign. Take a hard boiled egg, wrap it in sausage, bread it, and fry it. That, folks, is a Scotch Egg. They are somewhat popular here and are often sold at butchers and deli counters right along side the pork pies, the pasties, and the other meals in a deep-fried crust.

We bought ours at new a new butcher we tried this weekend by the name of Legges in Bromyard. Legges was a very nice shop, and probably worth the drive (about 45 minutes) from the Lilacs. They had a great selection of meat (maybe the best we have seen in Herefordshire) and sausages, an olive bar, some local fresh veggies, local ciders and beers, and so forth. We bought some marrow bones (cut while we waited), a couple varieties of sausage, and some odds and ends. Legges had a handful of Scotch Egg flavors -- I don't recall if they made them in-house or not -- including Pork, Stilton, and Apricot and Pork and Sage. We bought one of each of these. We warmed them when we got home (possibly a mistake -- they are often eaten cold). They were just ho-hum and we weren't so impressed with them. They seemed dry and in need of some condiment (I tried Coleman's Mustard and some potent hot sauce) or something to give them a bit of a lift. You would think with sausage, egg, and deep frying all that wouldn't be neccesary.

Conclusion: I think with several beers, sitting in a pub, a Scotch Egg or three might be a later regretted cure for the munchies. But for home consumption, next time I might pass.

He Who Laughs Last

At the Rembrandt House in Amsterdam, there was an excellent exhibit centered around the painting seen here. Last year, a guy bought this at an auction for around $3000. It was later proven very likely to be an original Rembrandt (a self-portrait) and sold for 2.2 million pounds ($4.5 million). The exhibit went through the analysis of the painting in detailed stages and gave arguments as to whether or not this was an original.

This picture just popped up on Yahoo!'s most recommended photos. Check it out right here for more of the story.

I Can't Believe Its Not Butter

Rachel brought a che-eeeze from Ireland on her recent trip. We broke it out the other night and damn! was it tasty. My only complaint is I think this cheese crosses a fine line between cheese and butter. It was so incredibly rich with a very slightly soft butter-like texture that for a moment I thought I had been duped. Very mild, super creamy. I took the picture so we would remember to get this one again.

There is a chance this same cheese might be exported to the US on the Kerry Gold label -- keep an eye out for it!

Vote For Pedro

If you vote for a car, Boo offer's her protection...

Thanks bloggites for the extra votes on the car poll. I know there are still a few of you that can't decide which car to vote for. No worries, take a couple more days to think about it and then just click that button. For those of you that have no idea what I am talking about, read the car blog below and vote in the top right corner.

In the words of Rob Schneider, "You can do it!"

I Only Came Here To Do Two Things...

The first beer in a can on the blog: John Smiths Extra Smooth. This one has become my staple when I don't feel like paying 2 quid 50 for a pint. A 15 pack of these guys is just over 10 sterling and if I buy one more, I have enough tokens for a free chiller glass. Suh-weet.

That aside, its a good beer to have on hand. Has one of them widgets in the can that releases a blast of nitrogen when you pop the top. Has nice head, and a sexy malty brown tint. Goes down easy but, like many brews here, is light on the punch so it doesn't slow down by busy lifestyle.

John Smiths is apparently the number one selling brand here, with about 15% of the market.

Seeing What Condition My Condition Was In

Americans. Democrats. Republicans. Perot-ians. Obamists. All of you, listen, don't forget to vote. And you know I mean it. I'm not talking politics here - I'm talking about my new ride. Six measly votes on the car poll? C'mon folks. Kept Man has completely lost his decision making ability and needs your help. Don't let me down.

Kevin Bacon Wasn't In Footloose

So awhile back I explored the virtues of the meat-flavored crisp (potato chip) and its odd suitability for carnivorous vegetarians. And then I found Burts Hand Fried Potato Chips. These guys don't kid around and their dedication to all natural ingredients must have created quite a stir when they came up with 'Smoked Streaky Bacon' flavor.

As bold as the flavor of their chips, Burts even calls out vegetarians, believing that these delicious bacon chips might create some converts:


A close look at the ingredients shows that they use actual 'bacon powder' and 'Denhay Bacon Extract'. I can't even begin to imagine the street-value of these Harry Potter-esque stuffs; do you think you could sprinkle a bit on anything and have instant bacon-infused whatever? The possibilities...

So far, this bacon chip is the only Burts I've tried, but there are others on my to-do list, like Hot Chilli Lemon, Firecracker Lobster, Bullshot (a bloody mary with beef broth instead of tomato), and Bloody Mary. Check out Burts website, its well done, especially the "How" section.

Cheers!

Break My Chains

Kept Man needs a car and more reasons to refer to himself in the third person. Right, Bob Dole? Right, Kept Man.

Here are the wants:

1. Bluetooth Communication: Ok, this one is a must! My mobile phone and portable navigation need this so I can use them hands-free in the car. They are stricter on using phones in the car here. When you see the web of roads here, you will understand why navigation is needed. I'd opt for built-in navigation but just like the US, its too expensive here.
   
2. Two Bike Capacity: We have great outdoor space right outside our backdoor and some even better places not far away. I've got the bikes tuned up so the car needs to hold them. Ideally, a roof rack.
3. Kayak-able: I really want to dig in to kayaking. I went a few times around Chicago and on various vacations and want to do more. Some of the nearby coasts are supposed to be great for this; not to mention the River Wye right up the road. The car should be long enough and have a shape conducive to holding a kayak.
   
4. But Not Too Big: Herefordshire has narrow roads and short parking spaces. Too big and the car won't fit. Yes, I know this conflicts with the kayak requirement. It's my blog.
   
5. Ooompf: A very typical engine here would be less than 90 horsepower. This is quite timid by American standards, even for small cars. For comparison, my last car had 280HP. I am shooting for 120HP+. They don't use horsepower as a measurement much here, though. You will see the German unit Pferdestärke abbreviated as PS, and that means horse strength. 1 PS is roughly 0.98 horsepower; for most people we can just say they're equal.
   
6. Price point: Less than 300 pounds per month including VAT. VAT is like sales tax except more painful at 18% on top of everything. I think I get charged VAT for blogging. Please don't convert pounds to dollars... its not worth the pain.
   
7. Odds and Ends: A nice stereo would be a plus. I like tech stuff, so anything like keyless start, rain sensing wipers, reverse sensors, etc. is a nice bonus. Oh, and an automatic transmission would be nice (shift with my left hand???) but these are quite premium here.
   

With these rules in mind, I have some contenders, in current order of preference (and yes, I like wagons; they call them 'estates' here):

1. Ford Focus Estate: Fords here seem to have a great set of features at very good prices. With everything I want above, I think this is one of my best bets. Bluetooth is currently a free option and a 145HP engine is a reasonable upgrade. Roof rack is cheap. You can even get the fancy keyless ignition and voice recognition in these. Not common so leasing might be hard to do. Rachel sometimes thinks its ugly but I like it, just fine.
   
2. Volvo V50: I almost bought this car in the US. Similar to the Ford shape-wise, but with nicer trim and higher price tag. I love the interior on current Volvos; the design around the stereo controls is very cool. Very common lease car here, though, so may be able to get a better deal. This sentence is just filler so the pictures line up better.
3. Audi A3 Sportback 5-Door: I had an Audi A4 in the USA and loved it. Performance-wise, this might be the best on my list but I think its also a bit smaller (both a pro and con.) Options are expensive on these guys so Bluetooth and bike-hauling gear might be an issue. Target engine would be the 1.4 TFSI @ 120PS; next one up is too expensive. Fairly common lease car; getting a deal may be a possibility.
   
4. Nissan Qashqai: A new entry from Nissan that might be called the Rogue in the USA. These seem to have good standard options and a great look. The body style might be a problem for kayaks. Roof rack would need to be aftermarket and options are limited. Rachel likes it.
5. Volvo C30R: The sportiest of the bunch; I like the look. Very hip. If I could get one of the better engines, it would be a great performer, too. Its a two door hatchback, though, so not so convenient for having guests. Kayak may be an issue but its longer than it looks.
6. I added this one last minute as a tribute to the GM heritage of my family. Vauxhall is the GM-brand in the UK. I like many of their cars but there are sooo many options they are a bit hard to sort out. The Astra, for example, has around 15 trim levels and 3 body-styles, ranging from kid-haulers with no oompf at all to the super-sport 240HP Nurburgring Edition. This one, the Astra SXi Sport Hatch, is one of my favorites. It has a sporty look, a 115PS engine option, and a good price point. Minimal options included as standard, so might be hard to get Bluetooth and such.
   

Runners-Up: Ford C-Maxx, Ford Mondeo, Audi A4 Estate ($$$), Peugeot 308 SW(questionable style), Nissan Note (a serious bargain option)

You've seen the contenders, let's put it to a vote! See panel at right.

I'm Banking On It

One of the biggest struggles we've encountered with life in the UK is getting our own car. Rachel has a company car, but when she is off to work or traveling, I am truly a Kept Man.

I've talked to a dozen different companies regarding leasing or buying a car. The trouble is, even though we have good credit in the USA, we have no credit here. So I went to a dealership and asked them what they could do to help us get a car. The salesman I spoke to was Canadian so he had been through some of this, I thought. It was there I learned that your credit history here starts when you register to vote. Soon after I learned, not suprisingly, we can't vote here and therefore can't register to vote. Canadians can vote here, by the way, as they are members of the British Commonwealth. Great - now what?

Apparently we can build up credit via just using a bank account. When we first arrived, Rach was able to open an HSBC (the world's largest bank) Passport account -- this account requires an address in the UK and a passport to open. It has some nice features for someone just arriving in the country, like it comes with a mobile phone SIM card that works well for calling the States (we used it in my mobile.) Its also a good account for transferring foreign currency over here or vice versa. Unfortunately, it builds no credit and is limited as to what you can do with it. After a year, it will convert to a normal, credit-building account (or so we have been told.) We attempted to add me to that same account, just so I could get a bank card with a chip in it, and even though we spent an hour at the HSBC and filled out lots of forms, nothing came in the post. Weeks later we followed up and found that only one person can be on a Passport account so all of our work was a wasted effort (thanks for notta HSBC; how about a phone call???)

Good news, though. Just this past weekend, I think I finally opened us a real bank account. About a month ago, I called NatWest, another bank. I immediately had a REAL person talking to me. They had no issues opening an account for us. I was able to do all the account details over the phone and we qualified for one of their best accounts -- if we want to pay for it; most savings accounts here come with lots of perks you probably won't use and cost a certain amount each month. Passport accounts, for example, are about 7 pounds a month ($14). The account we qualified for includes a Wine Club and travel concierge, among other things. The only issue with NatWest was that I had to confirm my ID and address via post; there were lots of things I could use to do this but nothing a non-resident would have. Eventually, we resolved that I could take in my passport to a branch in town and our account would be good to go. I even got a follow up call yesterday from our account advisor; I think it might actually happen! We will even get the UK equivalent of a Roth IRA, too.

Now that the bank account is in order... time to focus on getting that car.

Lazy Days

We've had some great weather here that last couple of weeks. Sunny, but cool at night and always a nice breeze. Boo is a junkie for the sun. She moves from place to place inside and outside always looking for the sunniest, most comfortable places. Even on cool days, we even find her lounging outside on a chair, dozing in the sun.


Those of you that know Boo know she enjoys her beds and blankets and any one else's beds and blankets, too. She has no issues with borrowing a sweatshirt or two to make a nice nest. She is a connoisseur of soft surfaces for sleeping. You can appreciate then this picture of Boo lounging on a prickly straw door mat, using the slightly raised tile as a pillow. Very un-Boo. She is a changed dog on a sunny day.

Kung Fu Fury

Don't ask. Just enjoy.

Giving Or Receiving?

This baby either has just thrown a rainbow grenade or is about to catch one. I think the fact that the pin is still in the grenade is a portrayal of incompetence or, alternately, hope in an otherwise disintegrating society. Whatever. Random stencil graffiti from an Amsterdam wall.

Vincent Vega On Amsterdam

There is a classic scene in the movie Pulp Fiction where two filthy-mouthed thugs discuss some variations in fast food naming between the USA and Europe. The point of it is that you can see some of the finer differences in society when you go into another country's McDonald's -- a restaurant (as Mr. Rizzo says) that you can depend on to get the exact same cheeseburger no matter where in the world you might be.

A few examples: In Taiwan, I had a typical McDonald's burger but instead of a bread, the bun was a fried cake of savory moist rice. In Japan, instead of Filet O Fish, it was Filet O Shrimp. In England... well, the only difference we have noticed is they don't even bother with trying to toss a salad. It's also the one place we can depend on to get a fountain Coke with lots of ice.

The biggest difference in Amsterdam is the french fries, or the 'frites' as they would say, are offered with mayonnaise in addition to or more likely, instead of , ketchup. There are restaurants that only sell french fries and offer a wide assortment of sauces, including the typical ketchup but also mayo, garlic sauce, green peppercorn sauce, ranch, sambal (spicy chili sauce), curry sauce, tartar sauce, and so on. And a small Amsterdam fry is like a large American fry. They love their taters. I had mine with sambal and also sambal mixed with Rach's mayonnaise. We had these as perfect midnight snacks more than once.

In honor, sort of, of all of that, here are some quick shots of various fast food in Amsterdam. Top right is McDonald's. Standard stuff except in Dutch.

Next is FEBO. This is like a giant vending machine with a Popeye's in the back that only sells chicken and fries. I don't quite get it. You can walk up, put money in a slot, open a door and get a hot cheese croquette. Or you can go to a counter in the back and get take out fried chicken. Maybe its the influence of the Red Light district that the folks in Amsterdam want to see their food in a glass box before they commit.

Next is Maoz (a Spencer favorite, I hear). Falafel is basically a deep-fried ball of ground and spiced chickpeas. At Maoz, the top menu choice is a handful of these crispy, rich balls stuffed into a fluffy pita, then topped with anything you want from the 'salad bar'. The salad bar has pickled beets, hot peppers, lettuces, a tomato-ish relish, cukes, some other salads, and a few sauces. This is some of the best cheap food I saw in Amsterdam -- you can use that salad bar to supersize your meal for notta. Maoz has recently expanded into the USA and has shops in New York and Philadelphia, too.

In a few places, we saw what I guess we would call a herring vendor. Its the Dutch version of sushi, served from street-side booths. Take a herring, clean it, then slide it down your throat. No cooking involved, but maybe you have a pickle with it. I wasn't feeling up to trying this one just yet but the Dutch, I hear, love it.

Lastly, the American hot dog. On lots of street corners, especially in the museum areas, there was no problem at all getting a taste of the USA. This hot dog here was even wearing an American flag and self-applying his own ketchup. You don't see that every day.

For those viewing in a safe environment, here is the real movie clip from Pulp Fiction. For those that can't watch, I offer another safer, friendlier parody of the same clip that has mostly lost its relevance.

Cheers!

Japanese Blondes

When I was working in Kakegawa, Japan, I developed a strong liking for a beer offered by one of the bars at a nearby hotel: Hoegaarden. This brew, with the restaurant's homemade potato chips, offered a little reminder of home (this was a 2 month stint in Japan.) The gigantic 1-liter glasses helped me forget it again. It was an odd occasion to find a Belgian beer in Japan since Japan has a massive selection of their own homegrown brews that dominate the market.

I see Hoegaarden everywhere now and order it occasionally. In Amsterdam, for our last night, we had dinner at a small Belgian restaurant (Lieve, highly recommended). I noticed another variety of Hoegaarden on the menu: Grand Cru. It's sweeter, more full-flavored with (maybe) peach aroma, and packs quite a punch with almost double the alcohol of the original Hoegaarden. It's easy drinkability made this one a dangerous drink.

Cheers!

Helpful Signage

For the silly tourists, this sign in Amsterdam not only tells you where the convenient outdoor man-toilets are, but also provides a little graphic assistance to explain what you do when you get there.

Despair and Cheese

Monday in Amsterdam: It was quite hot again but the crowds were decidedly less touristy -- or maybe just the element that prefers the Red Light district is more diluted on a weekday morning. Either way, the city seemed more authentic and maybe a little less like Bourbon Street.

We started the day at Oude Kerk (literally "Old Church") which currently houses the World Press Photo exhibition. The best photo journalism in the world is on display here, first, before going on a tour of over eighty world cities. Its likely that you have seen a handful of the photos on the front page of your newspaper or on the Internet. The collection of them all together printed super-poster size makes a statement that was worth the trip. Unfortunately, most of the tones of the pictures are about war, genocide, and parts of the world that aren't happy places. A few spreads of American oddities, like Skatopia, fit all too well in with pictures of war and unrest. The church itself is amazing, too, but under major renovation. In a quiet corner, you can find the tomb of Rembrandt's wife, Saskia. The building is the oldest in Amsterdam.

Midday, we went in search of a few food shops that we had read about. This resulted in the purchase of too much cheese at Kaasland - one of these can last months and months so there is a good chance some of you will get to sample it! My favorite was an Edam heavily laden with cumin seeds.

The Anne Frank House was our last stop before heading back to the hotel. Most know the story, but this is a tour of the hiding place of eight Jews, including the Frank family, during the occupation of Amsterdam by the Nazis in 1942-1944. They were betrayed and captured by the Nazis and sent to Auschwitz. Anne died in the camps just weeks before liberation by British forces. While in hiding, she kept a diary and her words are amazingly powerful for a girl in her early teens. Her father, Otto, survived the camps and published the diary. It's very hard not to get emotional as you read her words.

On a tip by the Spencer's, we went looking for Wynand Fockink, a traditional Amsterdam distillery and tasting house. We didn't have to go far, as it was literally right outside the backdoor of our hotel. Back in the 17th century, distilleries would produce hundreds of flavors of liquors. To help consumers sort out what they wanted to buy, distilleries had tasting rooms where you could get small samples of the product. This tiny tasting room is one such remnant of the past with dozens of liquors and combinations to sample, including flavors like "Drop" -- a salty licorice. Once the tourist groups left, we spent over an hour with one of the most interesting people of our trip: "Hans". I think Rachel might have more to say about this guy, but he certainly provided a fantastic ending note for our historical view of the city.

Monday night, Holland played Italy in the Euro 2008 football (no, soccer!) match; I'm still rusty on this but I believe this is the start of the European soccer championships and a very big deal. Holland smoked Italy (World Cup winners) 3-0 (albeit with some controversy) while we were eating a fantastic dinner along side one of Amsterdam's many canals. Folks of all ages and walks of life were crammed around TVs outside of bars, on house boats, and in houses - most everyone yelling at the TV screen. I think everyone except the American tourists were watching this match, and that includes the waiters serving us! It was very cool, though: Random people would yell out one window of a multi-story building to be answered by someone equally enthusiastic from a window up the street. A great display of sporting exuberance.

Conclusion: Great city. But Where's Waldo's Next Adventure? And do I get to come along...? 'til then!