Deus Ex Cervezas

In the past week, we had a couple of brews from Greene King brewery, one great and the other forgettable.

First up, Abbot Ale. We had just figured out how to work the grill on the cooker so we made some burgers, fresh micro-carrots, and green beans for dinner -- all sourced from the awe-inspiring Shell station (a post will surely follow about this all-in-one gas --ahem -- I mean -- petrol station). We opened this beer to have with the meal. A really fantastic, well-rounded beer. This one could become a staple. It even has Fuggles in it. I can't think of a beer to compare it to. The burgers were good, too.

A few days layer, we tried the IPA. I could take it or leave it. Reminded me of old Heineken.

Greene King is also the brewer of beer from an earlier post, Ruddles County.

Dinner?

Look closely. This image, captured using the ultra-powerful zoom of my camera phone, shows a walking Sunday dinner just outside our fence. The pheasants here are bigger and not nearly as shy as what I remember in Michigan.

Loos of the Lilacs

I'm sure you've all been waiting for this: A Tour of Our Toilets.

Toilet #1: The Trickle Pot
I have no idea what color this is (yes, for the uninformed, I am color-blind) but Rachel says its sorta pink. Flush capability is minimal; has trouble with the easy stuff. Least favorite toilet.

Toilet #2: The Mustard Throne
Ah, a first look at the golden hues of the master bath. The tub, sink, and toilet are all made of this same glorious stuff. Average flusher, reliable for most cases.




Toilet #3: The Wiz-ard

Maybe not the most decorative piece of plumbing in the house with standard white tank and dark wood seat, but easily the King of Krappers at our place. It's a "no questions asked" situation when you enter this room. My theory is the extra high placement of the tank gives it extra-flushing powers. My first choice and location of my best reading material.

Cheers!

Highly Skilled Migrant Workers

The wife and I avoided the whole issue of swimming across channels and dodging border patrol by gettings visas before heading into England. Rachel, being the pudding-winner in the family, was awarded "Highly Skilled Migrant Worker" status. To get that, she had to prove that she wasn't a deadbeat and that she could speak English (she had to get a letter from her college stating her coursework was taught in English.) I, on the other hand, I had to write a letter stating my intent to live as a kept man and face deportation if I do not uphold my household duties. Or something like that.

British Cocks

Kudos to the British rooster. These guys, I'm guessing, are at least partially responsible for just how tasty the eggs and chickens are over here.

First off, I love poached eggs. I tried dozens of times to make these things in the US without only marginal success. I'd tried adding vinegar, salt ...whatever ... and still the eggs were just ok -- they run all over in the simmering water. Then, I poached a British egg and lo and behold: perfection. They say it has everything to do with freshness -- so what does this say about our eggs in the States?

Then, we oven-roasted a chicken from Oak Church (a local gourmet food shop and garden center). Just very simple: chicken, salt, pepper, and olive oil. I ripped off a bite when it first came out of the oven and I had to have a moment to myself. It was the tastiest damn bite of chicken I had ever had and I believe that.

So, what's the difference? Maybe its freshness. Maybe its the milder weather. Maybe its because eggs aren't refrigerated here (not until you get them home ). Who knows? But I know I will miss these chickens (and their eggs) when we get back to the States.

Treacle Pie

We recently had a treacle tart (see pic) for dessert. You shouldn't believe this, but treacle is actually a naturally occuring sugar-filled deposit -- not unlike coal, for example -- that is found in the United Kingdom. It is mined like an ore and then refined for food usage where it is converted to a syrup with a honey-like flavor and texture. There are many arguments as to how a sugar deposit could become buried and the accepted theory is that it is sap from prehistoric trees that has hardened in the earth. In Hereford, there is also a pub in town called the 'Treacle Mine'.

...

...

...

And, if you bought the story above, you may need to change the air in your car's tires. The story of treacle being mined like ore is apparently a commonly appearing joke in the culture here. It's actually some by-product of a sugar making process here. The tart itself is treacle, breadcrumbs, and fat (of course!).

Drunk Monkeys

Apparently, bananas are England's favorite fruit. That might explain how a beer like Wells Banana Bread Beer ever came into existence. I've had some brews in the past that say things like brewed with 'real chocolate' or maybe orange or some odd spice. Usually, though, the flavor of said ingredient is so faint that you could argue that if they hadn't told you it was in there, you may have never even noticed. Not so with this one -- it smells like bananas and it tastes like bananas. I'm sure some of the Nasty Light drinkers out there are gagging a bit but if you like bananas and you like good, full-flavored beers, this one is definitely worth a try. Oh, and its Boo-approved.

Open 24 Hours (or so)

One thing we are learning here is that you can't take anything for granted and assume things are like they are in the States. A perfect example was as we were walking into the local ASDA (basically, Walmart -- Walmart bought them a few years back), here's the conversation:

Rachel: How late are you open?
Employee: 10:30.
Rachel, pointing at sign: Are you open 24 hours?
Employee: Yes.

See how that works? Now, the employee could have explained that they were open 24 hours every day except Saturday and that would have been easier to digest but that was the immediate end of the conversation. Rachel gave me a classic "I told you so" look and my only defense was to shake my head in bewilderment.

Fishy Chips

A detail we weren't all that worried about in the UK was being able to use our ATM cards and credit cards. These things are GLOBAL, right? Unfortunately, the shops here are used to credit cards with little microchips in them that you don't swipe like we expect in the States. Instead, they just put them in a slot and BAM -- your purchase is approved... unless you have an American card. Then, well, it doesn't go so smoothly. They have had these 'chips' over here long enough that when you tell the teenage tosser behind the counter that your card doesn't have a chip, you typically get a dazed look in response as he is trying to push your card more forcefully into the chip reader. They have to find the old, crazy guy in the back that they keep around for when the Yanks show up. A crowd gathers (angry customers from in line behind you along with the rest of the checkout staff) as he shows everyone how to swipe a card and you see their eyes light up as they realize what the slot on the register with a picture of a credit card is for. The first time I almost lost it with British customer service was as we watched the checkout girl type in 6 digits for a 4-digit credit card expiration date over and over and over all the while telling us that it just wasn't going to work...

Pub Deux

It's not quite right to call The Wellington just a pub since it served up what is probably the best (arguably the 2nd best -- next to the Stewing Pot) local food we've had. It's in the quaint little village of Wellington, just north of Hereford. For starters, we had king scallops with blood pudding and mushed peas. In America, we mostly eat just the 'abducter muscle' -- the round white disc of the scallop. Over here, they leave the 'roe' attached -- looks like a goofy orange and pink tongue hanging onto the side of the scallop (see pic). It has a different texture (more grainy, less chewy) than the scallop with a richer, stronger flavor. Good, nonetheless. Blood pudding, for those unfamiliar, is simply a sausage that contains blood from some animal as a filler. It's typically very dark (almost black) in color, and slightly mushy compared to other sausage. It's rich and savory and probably also has a nice percentage of lard and cream in it. The combination of the scallop, pudding, and peas was new to me but it worked. For our entrees, Rachel had a steak with chips (we call 'em fries) -- I would say with confidence that these were the best chips we've had in England so far. I had halibut, grilled with crispy pancetta and smushed broad beans. The fish was a good change from what we'd been eating all week (meat, meat, meat) and I've always loved the combo of white fish with savory beans -- great. And two pints of Wye Valley HPA (I think even my folks would drink this one -- nice and light!) to wash it down. I'm sure we'll back be here more than once -- hopefully some of you will be along to taste for yourselves...

That's Bollocks

Warning: The following link is not kid-friendly...

How To Swear Like A London Local

Enjoy!

Pub One

It's about 3/4 mile away and open to 11PM. Cold beer and cider on tap and good food. It's the Grafton Inn, "our" local pub and the new watering hole for Boo and Company. Rachel and I had a bite here this past weekend (fish & chips, steak & ale pie -- both very good). Beer was good -- John Smith's Extra Smooth for me. Rachel had a cider - Strongbow (made in Hereford.) Other than some odd food shortages, we had a good experience and see many items on the menu we'd like to try.

No Comment

It was brought to my attention that at least someone had tried to leave a comment but couldn't... I changed some stuff -- try again if you please!

It's Pronounced Past-ee, Not Paste-EE

The missus (see 'keeper' at right) likes to make the mistake of pronouncing one of my favorite foods incorrectly. One pronunciation is a tasty mix of meats and vegetables wrapped in a dense, flaky crust and the other, well, this is a family show so I won't go into details but you can click on these words right here to understand the confusion: nipple shield.

Today, for lunch, we stopped at a local chain called West Cornwall Pasty Co. Rachel had the mushroom and cheese, I had the pork and apple pasty. The first was meh -- just so-so. The pork and apple, though, was very good and also had some potatoes and savoury spices as well. They have a website, but its under construction.

Wales Travel Bits

This will be a constantly evolving post where I will provide useful links and information on travelling in and around Wales. Its currently just a rough outline as I work on my format. Hereford, by the way, is just a quick drive from Wales -- less that 20 miles as the crow flies -- and has many Welsh influences. My surname, Edwards, is Old English in origin and is very common in Wales -- maybe I have some cousins nearby...

• Wales
• General Travel Information
• Generic Info: http://www.welshpedia.co.uk
• Welsh Food www.foodwales.com
  
• Castles! http://www.castlewales.com/
  
• Dragon Tours www.dragon-tours.com
• Adventures In Wales http://www.adventureswales.co.uk/
• Tours of Wales http://www.shaggysheep.com/
• BBC Wales Travel http://www.bbc.co.uk/wales/travel/
• Lonely Planet Wales http://www.lonelyplanet.com/worldguide/wales
  
• Brecon Beacons National Park
• http://www.breconbeacons.org/
  
• Tregoyd Mountain Riding Holidays Tregoydriding.co.uk
• Pembrokeshire Coast National Park
• TYF Adventure tyf.com
• Pembrokeshire Coast Path Pembrokeshirecoastpath.com
• Snowdonia National Park
  
• Snowdon (Yr Wyddfa in Welsh) is the highest mountain in Wales (3,560 feet).
• Plas Y Brenin: Snowdonia Mountain Center pyb.co.uk
• Eisteddfod – Welsh Cultural Festival
• August 2-9, 2008 in Cardiff, Wales
• www.eisteddfod.org.uk/english/

Beer One

My fair lady did some shopping prior to my landing in England, including a virtual cornucopia of brews for me to try. And, since we didn't have a refrigerator just yet, the first few have been even more English: they were warm. Ruddles County was a good start to a long line of brews waiting to be sampled.

The Lilacs: First Look

Alright folks, here is the first glimpse of our English manor: The Lilacs. Sorry for the crap-tastic picture quality; my good camera is in the shop. These are all from the cell phone. It's rainy here today (surprise) but the place is starting to come together as we acquire new stuff to fill the emptiness. We are expecting our Chicago shipment around May 10. Sidenote: We bought a microwave here the other day. They are feature-hounds here. It's a microwave, convection oven, and grill or it can combine any of these functions at once. We made toast in it yesterday. Wierd.

Enjoy!

Microwaveable Dick

Last night I had myself some tasty Dick. All right, you wankers, get your head out of the gutter. Ah, Sainsbury's Spotted Dick. From cold to hot and delicious in just two minutes in our new English microwave. It's basically raisin bread soaked in Crisco and covered with custard as far as I can tell. It wasn't bad -- not all that sweet, but according to the box it was 18% vegetable suet. For those interested in why its called Spotted Dick, just click here. I'm sure this is just the first of many immature posts -- it's just too easy here.

Excess Baggage

I should have taken a picture of the back of the Tahoe after we loaded for our trip to the airport: 400 pounds of baggage stuffed into a 300 pound bag. Despite all our best efforts to be efficient, we ended up with 6 checked bags, 4 carry-ons, and one giant Boo-In-A-Cage. 4 bags were over-weight and one was so over-weight, they wouldn't accept it. Next thing you knew, our carry-ons were a bit heavier and our bank account a bit lighter. My guess is we topped 500 lbs of luggage. It's not easy packing for a one-way ticket.

We are now sitting in Detroit on our craptastic 6 hour layover (necessary so that we travelled with Boo). We've had some Mexican food, some sushi, and now, probably (not definitely) the last meal in the States for a bit -- some buffalo wings and cheese sticks. And don't forget the gigantic, ice cold beer. Oh, sweet, sweet American bar fare, how I will miss you.

See you on the other side...

Great Chieftan O' The Puddin'-Race

Some of you may have noticed that I'm getting paid for you to read this. Googles makes it all too easy to add "relevant advertising" to your blog. I didn't think much of it until an ad for MacSweens Haggis was added to my sidebar. Unfortunately for the Yankees reading this, no delivery to the USA. And that's too bad because the 8 pound Ceremonial Haggis looks quite scrummy.

http://www.scottishfoodoverseas.com/macsweens-haggis.html

Short-Nosed Dogs

Argh! My one-way flight to England has been pushed back a day. British Airways has an obscure rule that they won't transport short-nose dogs like Boo Jones (they can overheat more easily). We had to scramble and find a different way of getting her there and the only option was Northwest Airlines Cargo via Detroit. We can't make that happen until Wednesday. Even worse, Boo now has to spend an extra 6-8 hours in her crate since we have to have a long layover in Detroit.

Green Eggs and Hamlets

Our new home is in the "hamlet"of Callow - but what's a hamlet? In England, there are hamlets, villages, towns, and cities. A hamlet is recognized as a collection of less than 2o buildings (mainly houses) not necessarily having any public service. A village is larger than a hamlet but smaller than a town and will have some communal building. In days past, that building would have been the parish church -- now it's as likely to be a public house -- better known simply as the local "pub". It's hard to tell when a village has become large enough to become a town, but town's will add organization, administration, and possibly a legal charter. Cities, according to one source, are defined by having a branch of Marks and Spencer. That's supposed to be funny, I think, but I'm not that English yet.

Tatties and Neeps

First post: Why is the blog called Tatties and Neeps? Well, 'Diary of A Kept Man' was taken, as was 'Bangers and Mash', and 'Fish and Chips', and 'Bubble and Squeak'. Eventually, I found one more UK food slang that wasn't taken and that was tatties and neeps.

I guess this is as much Scottish as British but all 'tatties and neeps' means is potatoes and rutabagas boiled and mashed separately. This is the common side dish, along with a dram of Scotch whiskey, to haggis. Haggis, by the way, is the heart, liver, and lungs of a sheep, ground and mixed with oodles of fat and oatmeal which is then stuffed in the sheep's stomach and boiled. Tasty! That shot of whiskey should make sense now.

I had this dish once but not in the UK. It was at the Five Flies restaurant in Cape Town, South Africa and thanks to 'So I Married An Axe Murderer', I knew what haggis was. For most, that would be reason enough not to get it. For me, there wasn't even a choice.