While in Prague this past weekend, Chase Bank, my main bank back in the USA, once again turned off all of my access to my accounts. Even though I have explained to them I live in Europe, they don't care. Any time I use my card outside of England, they shut off all my cards until I call them. They also have their security people call late at night to confirm that I have been shopping on Amazon UK. I just tried to call and get access back to my accounts. Here is the conversation I had with Delores (not her real name but it rhymes with something):
Delores: Hello sir, can you confirm your social security number?
Me: Sure. ###-##-####
Delores: Can you confirm your account number?
Me: Ok. #### #### #### ####
Delores: Can you confirm your complete address to the zip code?
Me: Yes (I give her my old Chicago address -- usually what they want since they won't accept that we live in England.)
Delores: I'm sorry sir, we have another address on file.
Me: Ok -- I live in England. I gave you my last US residence. Here is my English address:
The Lilacs
Callow
Hereford
HR2 XXX
Delores: Sir, can you tell me where in England that is?
Me: Sorry?
Delores: Where is the Callow?
Me: What do mean where is it? It's just outside of Hereford. Addresses work differently here than in the USA.
Delores: I'm sorry sir. Can you tell me where in England that Ka-K... Callow is, exactly?
Me: Um. Do you want directions to my house? It's in the county of Herefordshire?
Delores: Where in England is that?
Me: I'm sorry -- there must be some confusion. My address is like this (now speaking very slowly):
The Lilacs -- that is the name of the house I live in.
Callow -- that is the name of the village I live in.
Hereford -- that is the town near our village.
HR2 XXX -- that is our post code, like a zip code. There are only 8 houses in it.
Ok?
Delores: I'm sorry sir, I still need to know exactly where that is in England.
Me: Can you explain how you want me to define that?
Delores: Can you tell me wha- where Callow is?
Me: Huh?
...
Do you want latitude and longitude??? I'm 2 hours west of London, I am on the border of Wales, on the River Wye, off Ross Road, near the A49, by that snack bar and the two ga-rages. How is that?
Delores: I'm sorry sir, for your security, I cannot access your account for you. You can call our international service number or visit a branch.
Me: I live in England. You don't have branches here.
Delores: Do you have a pen?
Me: ?
Delores: 713-262-1679... you can call from 9 to 5 CST.
Me: Wait, your "international service" number works on Central Standard Time?
Delores: Yes sir, I'm sorry.
Me: Not sure if you have any one to tell this to, but I've been a customer with Chase for 20 years and I plan on closing all my accounts. This has been horribly unhelpful. Cheers!
Wednesday, January 21
Fishsticks!
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2 comments:
Love that customer service. I once took a call like this, and when asked for my SS#, I asked the guy on the other end of the phone to prove to me that he worked for Chase. He couldn't do it - at least to my satisfaction. Oddly satisfying. But I couldn't use my card.
I called back during their dayshift to get a hold of a non-moron. I explained what had happened previously and he couldn't figure out what the woman wanted me to say. But -- he did confirm, after I said I lived in England, that I lived in either "Great Britain or Northern Ireland"... I think that was what the first person was looking for. Yooda thunk that England would have been sufficient.
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